I used to feel guilty for resting. Not even kidding.
Like every break was lost progress. (Seriously, bro?)
But learning to pause without guilt changed how I think, work, and create :)
For years, I equated rest with weakness.
If I wasn’t coding, writing, or learning something “useful,” I felt uneasy.
Even talking to my imaginary girlfriend felt like time was slipping through my hands. [Are you judging me for this line? My imaginary girlfriend is bloody important.]
Anyway,
I’d open my laptop on weekends, not because I had deadlines, but because I couldn’t sit still.
There was always one more optimization to make, one more idea to draft, one more repo to refactor.
Aw, but Shashwat — this is discipline.
No, it was fear. Fear that stopping meant falling behind.
And then that evening happened.
That evening, while debugging something that wasn’t even broken, I caught myself doing it again. Pushing through exhaustion just to “stay sharp.” I got a call from a friend who had broken his rib, in an accident and he started talking about our childhood.
It was after that call that it hit me. Man, I had not met this human since so long. And every time we met, he initiated it.
I closed my laptop, stepped outside, and sat quietly on the terrace.
No podcasts. No music.
Just the sound of a few aunties in my society arguing with the card somewhere far away. (I know this reference was not needed)
That ten minutes felt strange. And I decided to make a new habit.
The next day, I took a short break in the middle of the day.
I ate chips, peacefully. And made maggie. I watched the steam rise. I didn’t open Slack in between. Put my phone on DND.
Eventually, I started prioritizing small breaks for everything. My parents, my small-small tasks, my imaginary girlfriend, but more importantly -
DOING NOTHING :)
Something changed.
My thoughts started connecting better.
Writing became easier.
Code bugs made more sense.
Even people felt easier to talk to.
So, what did you and I learn?
Pauses give rhythm.
Now, when I rest, I remind myself: I’m not falling behind — I’m just recharging the thing that keeps me going.
If you made it till here, breathe, unapologetically :)
Sometimes, the best way to move forward is to stand still for a while.
In case we are meeting for the first time, come over here, it’ll be worth the roller coaster of articles that are gonna come up in the next few weeks.
Have you read this -How a Single Line of Python Code Broke Production?